Why "Embracing Rejection" is Stupid

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Why "Embracing Rejection" is Stupid

Written by Jill Konrath

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Cold Calling That Builds Great Relationships

Most of us dislike putting on our “salesperson persona” when we make cold calls. We think it’s needed, however, because we’ve been trained to make the sale. And yet we’re interacting with a live, breathing person without having any real connection to him or her. It often feels fake, and it often is.

Sometimes the finest solutions are the simplest. Focusing on relationships when making cold calls is one of them. It keeps us genuine, and eliminates our dread of making cold calls. We’re real people talking about real things. We’re interested in the conversation, and it shows.

This artificial role puts a great stress on us, and sabotages our cold calling conversations. When we aren’t genuine, it’s a red flag to the other person that we have a sales agenda. This puts nearly everyone “on guard.” They’ve never met us and are wary of possibly being manipulated.

Have you ever noticed that most cold calls break down the moment we try to “move” things along towards a sale? It’s as if we’re getting ready for battle, and the tension pushes us along.

But the person we’ve called doesn’t know us. The momentum we’re trying to impose puts him or her in a defensive position. They’re protecting themselves from a potential “intruder” who might have a self-serving agenda.

So how can we to shift into something more positive? We begin by focusing on the relationship rather than salesmanship. We call with the anticipation of meeting someone new, and looking forward to a pleasant conversation to find out whether we can be of service. This mindset is subtle but powerfully felt by the other person.

Building relationships humanize our cold calling conversations -- and ourselves. We are less artificial. Cold calling conversations become more natural. And people tend to respond with more warmth and interest.

The point is not to use the “technique of building relationship” to improve sales. That’s having a hidden agenda rather than a relationship. Our goal is to see if we can provide something that will benefit the other person. If it doesn’t, then we prefer not to continue interrupting their day. That’s a real relationship, even if brief.

When we’re being real people treating others as real people, the difference is amazing. Both people are both more at ease. We anticipate talking with someone who may possibly have an interest in what we have to offer. And if they don’t, we’ve enjoyed our time with him or her.

When others feel this relaxed mindset from you, they are much more likely to welcome you into their day. But if you rigidly follow a script or launch into a mini-presentation, then your call is immediately pegged as something initiated primarily for your own gain. And that puts most people into resistance.

Here are 8 keys to building relationships in cold calling:

Focus on the other person’s needs rather than on securing a sale
Surrender to the outcome of your cold call so you can connect with your potential client at a human level
View the human connection as an exciting journey in which you encounter new and interesting people
Speak graciously and naturally as you would with any new acquaintance
Remember it’s about how you come across, not about how many people you call
Allow the conversation to evolve naturally
Invite both of you to decide together whether it’s worth your time to pursue the conversation further
Use phrases that are non-aggressive yet very effective

So try this. Practice shifting your mental focus from salesmanship into a place of relationship. You’ll find that your genuine enjoyment of the conversation rubs off on the other person. They’ll be less defensive and more likely to share with you truthfully.

One of the best ways to build relationship is by using phrases that carry the human element very well. Start out by asking, “Hi, could you help me out for a minute?” The most common response will be, “Sure. What do you need?”

Your next question might be to ask whether they are open to the idea of looking at different ways to, for example, reduce their expenses. Most of the time the reply will be something like, “Well, sure, what kinds of expenses are you talking about?”

Now you are able to open the conversation between the two of you and build an initial relationship. It’s easy and comfortable to continue from there.

When you do this, you’ll experience so much success and satisfaction that it will really change the way you do business. And it will bring sales success beyond your imagination.

Every once in a while, I read something that a so-called sales expert says that really ticks me off. The other night it happened again. I was doing a quick scan of the latest issue of a popular magazine when suddenly I came across a whole slew of idiocy in just one article.

Here's just a taste of this lunacy …

"In sales, the results are in the rejections."

"Every time a contact results in a rejection, your salespeople can view the rejection as making money."

"The secret is for each salesperson to realize how much rejection is necessary for success.'"

"Sales managers must coach their teams to embrace rejection."

This is the stupidest advice you could ever get. Think about it. Can you ever imagine yourself saying this:

"Hallelujah! I've made 66 calls today and actually connected with 24 people. But of that number, 23 of them were total failures. Those decision makers blew me off as fast as they could. But one person asked me to sent a brochure, so it was really a great day. With all those rejections, I'm well on my way to success."

Let me tell you why it's even stupider than you might think.

Guess what happens if you embrace rejection as a part of the job and quickly move on to make the next call. You're doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over.

What do I recommend? In my opinion, a rejection is a failure. It's a sales call that did not result in a desirable outcome. If you want to get better at selling, it is imperative to analyze your failures to determine if a different approach could have yielded a better outcome.

There is NO other way to improve in this profession.

To be successful, you must take a serious look at all aspects of the interaction that were within your control. This includes:

Your word choices.
How you positioned your company.
The sequence of what you said.
How much you said: too little, too much.
Your tone, pace and sound.

Each one of these can be changed and potentially yield an improved outcome. So where do you start? I suggest you pay close attention to:

The specific obstacles you encounter.

What are your prospects saying: too high price, too expensive, currently satisfied? All these are indicators that you need to rethink your approach.

When you encounter these obstacles.

Take a look at what you said just prior to hearing the objection. Most likely the words preceding the client's comments are key offenders.

The key point is that rejection is data. Simply data. It can be analyzed to determine trends, frequency, and even specific sales behaviors. When you think about it this way, you can experiment with various approaches.

You can simulate conditions by listening to your phone calls from your buyer's perspective. You can get input from colleagues to see if what you say would sound interesting if they were your prospect. You can check with other sellers to see what strategies they use.

Stop listening to those sales gurus who tell you to "embrace rejection." They're spouting old-style selling techniques that won't get you in the door of major corporations. They don't have a clue what it takes to succeed in today's marketplace.

Get smart and start analyzing your rejection. Look at it as a puzzle that needs solving. You may not know what it takes right now to crack into those corporate accounts, but you certainly have the ability to figure it out.

Download Jill Konrath's Free eBook Can LinkedIn Increase Your Sales?

Jill Konrath
		About the author:
		Jill Konrath, a leading-edge sales strategist and business advisor, is a popular speaker at national sales meetings and association events. She helps sellers crack into corporate accounts, speed up their sales cycle and achieve their revenue growth goals .